When we hurried home from elementary school to watch those 'Partridge Family' reruns back in the day, we always had the feeling that smutty, penicillin-necessitating things were going on as soon as the cameras switched off for the day. And while we might've imagined Susan Dey in the vortex of vice, it turns out that David Cassidy was actually the root of all teen idol evil.

In his new book, 'Could It Be Forever,' the artist formerly known as Keith Partridge fesses up to all manner of lasciviousness -- from copious drug use to sexual encounters enhanced by our breakfast spread of choice. Most intriguing of all, however, is Cassidy's total recall of a meeting with fifty-ish actress Gina Lollobrigida, which he recounts by writing, "My brothers call me 'Donk' -- as in Donkey. People have talked about me being 'blessed' in my physique. The first time I met her she looked me up and down and said 'I hear you're a monster. I want to meet the monster.' Well, I decided that if I had it, there wasn't any point in just keeping it in the holster all the time."

Somewhere, Pamela Anderson is digging out her old copy of 'I Think I Love You.'