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The Exies Fight to Keep Paris Hilton Behind Bars

For a good portion of her reign as America's Sweetheart, Paris Hilton has pretty much draped herself in a banner reading "give me your guitarists, your drummers, your skinny guys yearning to eat for free" -- but she apparently didn't get around to extending her "hospitality" to her fellow Angelenos in the Exies. As such, the band has understandably taken the side of The People in the epoch-making case of The People Vs. Paris Hilton -- throwing their weight behind an effort to send the heir-head directly to jail without collecting another pair of 200-dollar panties.

Using an evangelical tone normally reserved for folks trying to push PETA-produced chicken-slaughter videos, Exies frontman Scott Stevens is using the band's MySpace page to urge the signing of a petition to keep Hilton's sentence intact -- thereby making the world a little safer for (as he puts it) "people like John Mayer, Angelina Jolie and Scarlett Johansson [who] have real talent."

While we're a little miffed that he left Carrot Top out of that rarefied company, we think the guy's got a pretty good point -- and we hope he can take his traffic activism bi-coastal by helping keep Paris's driving doppelganger DMX off the road as well.

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9 Comments

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Dumb bitch deserves to do REAL time and come out as someone's girlfriend

June 08 2007 at 1:38 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Michael (PittBull) Pittman

Saw the (DFB)concert,talent bringing justice to talentless.

May 26 2007 at 11:31 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Adal Robles

The Exies did a really good job at bringing this petition to jail Paris. It's time to get Paris to beat down she deserve.

May 22 2007 at 6:48 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
p p

i'm not a fan of the band and this is likely a promotional attempt, but it is pretty funny...too bad it won't really work because that chick deserves prison.

May 22 2007 at 5:42 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
brian

The Exies are an awesome band, love their music. Their new album rocks. Paris Hilton's a crybaby.

May 19 2007 at 7:27 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
js

the exies are a shitty band. your probably the first person to ever say that there good.
an go figure your anonymous

May 19 2007 at 3:00 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
anonys

the exies are a good band and paris just needs 2 accept lynwood as her new home.

May 19 2007 at 1:18 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Dahlia

This is a great story, and I love what the Exies are doing (hysterical!) But Paris Hilton, "America's Sweetheart"? NO WAY. Need to re-write that first sentence before you offend nice people.

May 15 2007 at 10:46 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
James

Or is this just the millionth group trying to use Paris' name to promote their 3rd rate band??? Scheeeesh...

May 15 2007 at 9:10 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply