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Rockin' Out Interview: Tegan and Sara's Tegan Quin

Tegan and Sara are identical twin singer-songwriters from Canada. The duo garnered mainstream attention after the White Stripes covered 'Walking With a Ghost,' off the sisters' 2004 album 'So Jealous,' along with cuts on both the 'Grey's Anatomy' and 'Veronica Mars' soundtracks. Tegan and Sara will release their new album, 'The Con' -- co-produced by Death Cab for Cutie's Chris Walla -- on July 24.

What age did you begin to question your sexuality?


I never actually questioned my sexuality. I had a lot of gay friends. Sara started dating a girl when we were like, 15, and I feel like I always had this natural attraction for girls. I didn't feel torment or inner struggle. I was still kind of happy to date boys, too. I was much more interested in girls than boys, but it wasn't until I was maybe 16 that I actively dated a girl. I didn't feel an instinct to tell everyone. I was definitely a little more reserved, but people were very experimental around me, so I didn't attach anything negative to it.

Who was the first person who you came out to?


I don't remember ever having to do the whole "I have to tell you something -- I'm gay" thing. Sara kind of did all of the work for me because she dated girls, got found out and had to tell our mom. Our mom freaked out and then kind of came around. I just watched the whole thing and was like, "By the way, this is my girlfriend." The damage was done. Everything had been figured out. A lot of my friends in Vancouver were like, "It's so weird how you never really came out." But there are so many assumptions about twins. Sara was gay, so people weren't weirded out when I turned out to be gay, too.

Did you and Sara talk about any of this to each other?

No. I mean, we're weird now. Recently, Sara touched my arm and was like, "I found out that touching you was like touching me. So this is what it's like to touch me." And I was like, "Ew, what? Do you want to do acid? Relax." And she was like, "It's just so weird!" We're not really comfortable having those kinds of talks. And, at 14, the last thing I was going to do was invite Sara in for a chat about sexuality.

Sara and I have always had this really weird thing where we don't even really like to hug. There's unspoken things between twins. We were never the gabby, gossipy girls in our room talking about girls or boys. We were extremely independent of one another. We never really talked about relationships or anything, so in our late teens we didn't get along with each other. We had the same friends, we played in a band -- and that was when we really started dating girls, but we really didn't talk about any of those things. We talk about girls now. But I didn't feel a burning desire to share it with anyone then. If anything, I felt like I wanted to keep it a secret because it was so amazing and I didn't want it to get ruined.

What was your first relationship like?

It was pretty great. We were young. I was having a moment of extreme nostalgia recently and I was like, "Oh, I guess there was a lot of drama that I don't remember," but of course there was drama with both of us traveling. We didn't say things like, "I want you to be my girlfriend, I want to marry you or I want to be with you forever." It was like, "I want to be friends forever." And now she's straight -- she never dated girls after me. I was just excited to be there and have what we had. It was very intense. We spent a lot of time together, and it was my first feeling of being in love.

Are your girlfriends welcomed by your family?

Oh, yeah. Initially, my mom was definitely upset with Sara. She was like, "You're a musician and now you're gay. You're going to have a lot of challenges." Every mother's dream is when they have baby girls, that they'll get married and whatever. But my mom later came around. She said, "You're happy and that's all that matters. If you can't find the person you're going to be with in a man, I would want you find them whoever they are."

I don't remember coming up against any resistance in terms of my family. My mom kind of made it her own and told everyone. She was like, "Don't you want to tell your aunt and uncle?" [laughs]. My grandmother passed away a few years ago, and at the funeral my mom was like, "This is Tegan's girlfriend. They live together and they love each other." And my 88-year-old aunt was like, "Oh, that's great! Beautiful friend!" I was like, "Mom, does Aunt Stella really need to know?" My grandfather just likes to flirt with our girlfriends. He likes that there are hot girls around.

I think, on some level, that some of our older family members are silently glad their children aren't gay. We're still at a point where it's not the easiest thing in the world for everyone. It's not something you wish on people -- to be different. But at some point it won't matter. It doesn't in my world but I'm a musician and I'm alternative. It's a lot easier for me.

The two of you aren't strangers to a number of labels. Does the "gay" one feel the most restrictive, professionally?

Not really. Initially, nobody asked anything. We didn't have to talk about it. You're a new musician, so no one gives a shit about who you're dating. When we put out our second album, so much focus was on us being twins, girls, gay, Canadian. I was like, "Holy shit, that's a lot of labels!" We spent the last two records trying to shake off the limitations. But I didn't think the gay label was the biggest; I thought being a girl in a rock band was. They were always comparing us to other female musicians who we didn't sound like. I feel like I put up more of a resistance to that. When people were writing that we were a Lilith Fair band that sounds like Alanis Morissette, I was like, "Really? That's all you can come up with?"

The gay thing doesn't bother me. I think it's important to our demographic. Our fan base is getting really young, and it's important to me to make sure that we're spreading a very honest message. I'm glad there's no part of us that has been reluctant to share who we are. There's still so much homophobia, sexism and racism in younger generations, and yet these kids love us anyway. I think we have a very progressive message. I haven't seen [gay] as a limitation.

Right. It's another detail, just like your hair is brown.

Exactly. I mean, there are moments when you're at an event -- if someone's like, "So, do you have a boyfriend?" In those situations, I think of what I'm going to say. But when I wake up, it's certainly not the first thing on my mind. I'm not like, "I'm gay!" I'm usually like, "I'm starving!"

Posted by Jessica Robertson
Filed under: The Hit List, Coming Out Stories

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  • Comments (21)

Reader Comments(1 of 2)

vote downvote upReportHighest Ranked

Martineat 6-16-2007

I love Tegan and Sara too!!!
Their amazing! Tegan fuckin' rocks!

Reply
vote downvote upReportLowest Ranked

drmarkestepat 4-12-2009

Shame on you for using such horrible language! These girls need to be pitied for their deviant choice. Their lives will only be filled with heartache, loss and lonliness.

Dr. Mark

vote downvote upReportHigh Ranked

ciaraat 6-23-2007

they are so amazing.. i mean wow.. and gorgeous at that.

Reply
vote downvote upReportHighest Ranked

stephanieat 6-26-2007

I LOVE TEGAN AND SARA. MUSIC IS AMAZING! AND THEY ARE HOT!

Reply
vote downvote upReportHighest Ranked

Shaneat 7-02-2007

Tegan is so cool! that is just great that she is so open and gives sucha great example to teenagers! and the music that Tegan and Sara make is just AWESOME!

Reply
vote downvote upReportHigh Ranked

Laurenat 7-17-2007

WTF why does everone go tegan this and tegan that I think sara kicks ass, i went to their show tonight and i can get over this obsession with tegan SARA IS THE SHIT
QUEER PRIDE VANCOUVER!!!

Reply
vote downvote upReportHighest Ranked

sarahat 7-25-2007

why didn't they interview sara?? i wanna hear sara's coming out story!!

Reply
vote downvote upReportHighest Ranked

Sophiaat 5-06-2008

I would have liked to hear Sara's side too.

Tegan is hilarious. "By the way, this is my girlfriend."

Priceless.

Reply
vote downvote upReportNeutral

Cassidyat 6-29-2008

I would date either of them! lol.
But seriously, I would.

Until I read this, I had no idea. I mean, I'm into them for the music, I didn't even know they were twins for a long time (I hadn't seen them, only heard their music). But they're Canadian twin lesbian musicians. You don't hear that line a lot! But I think it's really cool. And I'm really rambling for no apparent reason, so I'll stop now.

Y'all fuckin ROCK!

Reply
vote downvote upReportLowest Ranked

drmarkestepat 4-12-2009

Your language is only indicative of your ignorance. Grow up!

Dr. Mark

vote downvote upReportLowest Ranked

ccocoachocolateat 6-29-2008

Cool!! I don't have gay friends or anything....but i mean people shouldn't be judged if their gay or not! That's basically racist! I'm actually straight and no, I DON'T think that they're "HOT" and why would anybody else?

Reply
vote downvote upReportHighest Ranked

mary2626at 10-08-2008

Takes guts to come out in your teens. I hope they do well in life.

Reply
vote downvote upReportNeutral

hollandxhottieat 10-09-2008

sara

Reply
vote downvote upReportNeutral

Potchko D'Vincoat 4-12-2009

This isn't the first time I've heard of identical twins being gay. It's an interesting occurance.

Reply
vote downvote upReportLowest Ranked

Robinat 4-12-2009

WHO CARES??????

Reply
vote downvote upReportLowest Ranked

Johnat 4-12-2009

A Homo Ho!-----hmmmmmm!

Reply
vote downvote upReportHigh Ranked

lsgrl68at 4-12-2009

their beautiful.

Reply
vote downvote upReportLowest Ranked

drmarkestepat 4-12-2009

Your language is that of a simpleton. Grow up you moron!

Dr. Mark

Reply
vote downvote upReportHighest Ranked

meep221at 5-09-2009

I like how you try to break in all these words that no one actually uses, to come off as more intelligent. You totally broke out the thesaurus, and were like what sounds fancier than ignorant. who the fuck uses the word simpleton. And dude, ur language is of a fucking pompous ass bigot. who seeks recognition to the point that it becomes necessary to write dr at the bottom of the naive shit u come up with.

vote downvote upReportNeutral

loz vonat 5-09-2009

I like how you try to break in all these words that no one actually uses, to come off as more intelligent. You totally broke out the thesaurus, and were like what sounds fancier than ignorant. who the fuck uses the word simpleton. And dude, ur language is of a fucking pompous ass bigot. who seeks recognition to the point that it becomes necessary to write dr at the bottom of the naive shit u come up with.

12

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