Rockin' Out Interview: Tegan and Sara's Tegan Quin
- Posted by Jessica Robertson
- Comments (26)
Tegan and Sara are identical twin singer-songwriters from Canada. The duo garnered mainstream attention after the White Stripes covered 'Walking With a Ghost,' off the sisters' 2004 album 'So Jealous,' along with cuts on both the 'Grey's Anatomy' and 'Veronica Mars' soundtracks. Tegan and Sara will release their new album, 'The Con' -- co-produced by Death Cab for Cutie's Chris Walla -- on July 24.What age did you begin to question your sexuality?
I never actually questioned my sexuality. I had a lot of gay friends. Sara started dating a girl when we were like, 15, and I feel like I always had this natural attraction for girls. I didn't feel torment or inner struggle. I was still kind of happy to date boys, too. I was much more interested in girls than boys, but it wasn't until I was maybe 16 that I actively dated a girl. I didn't feel an instinct to tell everyone. I was definitely a little more reserved, but people were very experimental around me, so I didn't attach anything negative to it.
Who was the first person who you came out to?
I don't remember ever having to do the whole "I have to tell you something -- I'm gay" thing. Sara kind of did all of the work for me because she dated girls, got found out and had to tell our mom. Our mom freaked out and then kind of came around. I just watched the whole thing and was like, "By the way, this is my girlfriend." The damage was done. Everything had been figured out. A lot of my friends in Vancouver were like, "It's so weird how you never really came out." But there are so many assumptions about twins. Sara was gay, so people weren't weirded out when I turned out to be gay, too.
Did you and Sara talk about any of this to each other?
No. I mean, we're weird now. Recently, Sara touched my arm and was like, "I found out that touching you was like touching me. So this is what it's like to touch me." And I was like, "Ew, what? Do you want to do acid? Relax." And she was like, "It's just so weird!" We're not really comfortable having those kinds of talks. And, at 14, the last thing I was going to do was invite Sara in for a chat about sexuality.
Sara and I have always had this really weird thing where we don't even really like to hug. There's unspoken things between twins. We were never the gabby, gossipy girls in our room talking about girls or boys. We were extremely independent of one another. We never really talked about relationships or anything, so in our late teens we didn't get along with each other. We had the same friends, we played in a band -- and that was when we really started dating girls, but we really didn't talk about any of those things. We talk about girls now. But I didn't feel a burning desire to share it with anyone then. If anything, I felt like I wanted to keep it a secret because it was so amazing and I didn't want it to get ruined.
What was your first relationship like?
It was pretty great. We were young. I was having a moment of extreme nostalgia recently and I was like, "Oh, I guess there was a lot of drama that I don't remember," but of course there was drama with both of us traveling. We didn't say things like, "I want you to be my girlfriend, I want to marry you or I want to be with you forever." It was like, "I want to be friends forever." And now she's straight -- she never dated girls after me. I was just excited to be there and have what we had. It was very intense. We spent a lot of time together, and it was my first feeling of being in love.
Are your girlfriends welcomed by your family?
Oh, yeah. Initially, my mom was definitely upset with Sara. She was like, "You're a musician and now you're gay. You're going to have a lot of challenges." Every mother's dream is when they have baby girls, that they'll get married and whatever. But my mom later came around. She said, "You're happy and that's all that matters. If you can't find the person you're going to be with in a man, I would want you find them whoever they are."
I don't remember coming up against any resistance in terms of my family. My mom kind of made it her own and told everyone. She was like, "Don't you want to tell your aunt and uncle?" [laughs]. My grandmother passed away a few years ago, and at the funeral my mom was like, "This is Tegan's girlfriend. They live together and they love each other." And my 88-year-old aunt was like, "Oh, that's great! Beautiful friend!" I was like, "Mom, does Aunt Stella really need to know?" My grandfather just likes to flirt with our girlfriends. He likes that there are hot girls around.
I think, on some level, that some of our older family members are silently glad their children aren't gay. We're still at a point where it's not the easiest thing in the world for everyone. It's not something you wish on people -- to be different. But at some point it won't matter. It doesn't in my world but I'm a musician and I'm alternative. It's a lot easier for me.
The two of you aren't strangers to a number of labels. Does the "gay" one feel the most restrictive, professionally?
Not really. Initially, nobody asked anything. We didn't have to talk about it. You're a new musician, so no one gives a shit about who you're dating. When we put out our second album, so much focus was on us being twins, girls, gay, Canadian. I was like, "Holy shit, that's a lot of labels!" We spent the last two records trying to shake off the limitations. But I didn't think the gay label was the biggest; I thought being a girl in a rock band was. They were always comparing us to other female musicians who we didn't sound like. I feel like I put up more of a resistance to that. When people were writing that we were a Lilith Fair band that sounds like Alanis Morissette, I was like, "Really? That's all you can come up with?"
The gay thing doesn't bother me. I think it's important to our demographic. Our fan base is getting really young, and it's important to me to make sure that we're spreading a very honest message. I'm glad there's no part of us that has been reluctant to share who we are. There's still so much homophobia, sexism and racism in younger generations, and yet these kids love us anyway. I think we have a very progressive message. I haven't seen [gay] as a limitation.
Right. It's another detail, just like your hair is brown.
Exactly. I mean, there are moments when you're at an event -- if someone's like, "So, do you have a boyfriend?" In those situations, I think of what I'm going to say. But when I wake up, it's certainly not the first thing on my mind. I'm not like, "I'm gay!" I'm usually like, "I'm starving!"
- Filed under: The Hit List, Coming Out Stories
- Share & Bookmark :










Reader Comments(1 of 2)
Sophiaat 5-06-2008
I would have liked to hear Sara's side too.
Tegan is hilarious. "By the way, this is my girlfriend."
Priceless.
Cassidyat 6-29-2008
I would date either of them! lol.
But seriously, I would.
Until I read this, I had no idea. I mean, I'm into them for the music, I didn't even know they were twins for a long time (I hadn't seen them, only heard their music). But they're Canadian twin lesbian musicians. You don't hear that line a lot! But I think it's really cool. And I'm really rambling for no apparent reason, so I'll stop now.
Y'all fuckin ROCK!
drmarkestepat 4-12-2009
Your language is only indicative of your ignorance. Grow up!
Dr. Mark
ccocoachocolateat 6-29-2008
Cool!! I don't have gay friends or anything....but i mean people shouldn't be judged if their gay or not! That's basically racist! I'm actually straight and no, I DON'T think that they're "HOT" and why would anybody else?
mary2626at 10-08-2008
Takes guts to come out in your teens. I hope they do well in life.
hollandxhottieat 10-09-2008
sara
Potchko D'Vincoat 4-12-2009
This isn't the first time I've heard of identical twins being gay. It's an interesting occurance.
Robinat 4-12-2009
WHO CARES??????
lsgrl68at 4-12-2009
their beautiful.
drmarkestepat 4-12-2009
Your language is that of a simpleton. Grow up you moron!
Dr. Mark
meep221at 5-09-2009
I like how you try to break in all these words that no one actually uses, to come off as more intelligent. You totally broke out the thesaurus, and were like what sounds fancier than ignorant. who the fuck uses the word simpleton. And dude, ur language is of a fucking pompous ass bigot. who seeks recognition to the point that it becomes necessary to write dr at the bottom of the naive shit u come up with.
loz vonat 5-09-2009
I like how you try to break in all these words that no one actually uses, to come off as more intelligent. You totally broke out the thesaurus, and were like what sounds fancier than ignorant. who the fuck uses the word simpleton. And dude, ur language is of a fucking pompous ass bigot. who seeks recognition to the point that it becomes necessary to write dr at the bottom of the naive shit u come up with.
Zoeat 8-25-2009
i love them!!!!! i think both of them kick ass. i didn't even know that they are gay till now. woot!!!!
Ashleyat 8-18-2009
do you do your sister?? same thing
NotaDRbutsmarterthanUat 8-25-2009
Your language is that of a bitter person who is definitely NOT where they want to be in life. You insist on putting Dr. in this stupid little forum so people can know how "important" you are. Well guess what, in the music business Dr. doesn't mean a thing. It's about passion and creativity, not how "well educated" you are. I can't believe someone as "well educated" as you claim to be would waste their time commenting because they disagree with Sara & Tegan's sexual orientation. Get over yourself. You stated that, "These girls need to be pitied for their deviant choice." Any educated person knows that being gay is NOT A CHOICE. Why would someone choose to be persecuted by ignorant people such as yourself, especially when they are in the public eye? I think you are the fool that needs to be pitied "Dr Mark".
Sara & Tegan deserve props for dealing with ignorant people such as yourself.
JazzyBloodbathat 9-01-2009
Both are extremely goodlooking..no dice right twins hah
but i want them both in my bed tonight...
all the posibilities....ahhh
marinaat 8-31-2009
haha Dr. Mark you should go fuck yourself... you and your "simpleton" language. haha... what a funny man... ahh...
by the way tegan and sara are friggn BRILLIANT... tegan is SOOO sexy and amazing... gosh.
Dr. Mark... can you just come to ternms with your sexuality and stop DENYING IT?!
no hate!!!
NinjaGina93at 9-08-2009
I think that they are both fanstastic musicians, and they succeed in life. =]!~!!!!!
Go GO Tegan And Sara!!
or Sara and Tegan
Robat 11-11-2009
Awesome Tegan and Sara gay rights video and interview - http://bit.ly/3bfgju
stephanieat 6-26-2007
I LOVE TEGAN AND SARA. MUSIC IS AMAZING! AND THEY ARE HOT!