Chrissie Hynde Bans Beef From Akron Eatery

While artists as varied as Ozzy Osbourne and Slayer have long engaged in enough cartoony netherworld spelunking to get them tagged as bosom buddies of Beelzebub, none of them ever went so far as to publicly proclaim "hail, seitan" -- which seems to be the rallying cry issued by Chrissie Hynde. The Pretenders' frontwoman will be peddling that glutinous protein treat -- among dozens of other meat-free dishes -- at the spanking-new vegetarian eatery she plans on opening in her hometown of Akron, Ohio.

Hynde has set a September launch for VegeTerranean, a Mediterranean-themed joint that will offer diners all manner of cruelty-free chow choices -- none of which, we're sure, will share the texture of Akron's other famous export (you know, the one proffered by Goodyear?) Since Wendy's shelved that once-ubiquitous "where's the beef" tagline a good two decades ago, it's probably safe for Hynde to dust it off as her own slogan -- with the addition of a hearty "not here!," of course.