With a Bullet: Today's Charts

Among the greatest man-to-man skirmishes in history -- Ali vs. Frazier, Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla, Fred Sanford vs. Aunt Esther -- we must add Kanye West vs. 50 Cent. We must, that is, because everyone told us we must. Now, let's phrase this as delicately as possible, seeing that this is a bylined post: Both of these stalwart gladiators have come off as a pair of crybabies and sore winners throughout this battle for hip-hop primacy. First we had Kanye going to his favorite custom tailor shop and trying on a couple of hissy fits for size, threatening to boycott MTV for not bestowing upon him the Best Female Country Video award or some such. And Fiddy hasn't exactly manned up here himself, solemnly promising to take his bat and his ball and quit the game if his album was outsold by West's.

Well, since this is ultimately about the winning numbers and not the winning personalities of the contestants, here's the result of the Battle of the Third Albums: Mr. West's 'Graduation' debuted at No. 1, with a staggering 958,000 in sales, a truly impressive number to attain during the Great Recording Industry Depression of Aught-Seven. As for Mr. Cent, one would think that his debut to the tune of 692,000 with his 'Curtis' long-playing record has forced him to reconsider tendering his resignation to his boss, Old Man Thistlebottom, the president and founder of Amalgamated Hip-Hop Industries and No-Stick Cookware, Inc.

The Winner: Legions of kid-haters everywhere rejoiced, as all this foofaraw did manage to evict the Uncle Walt Disney-branded tandem of 'High School Musical 2' and 'Hannah Montana 2' from their adjoining pink princess castles high atop Album Chart Mountain.

The Loser: Humility and graciousness held hands, squeezed their eyes shut and drove their car off a cliff.

The Other Loser: Say a prayer for poor, poor Kenny Chesney. Usually, selling 387,000 of your album in its debut week, as the former wide receiver accomplished with his eleventh studio album, 'Just Who I Am: Poets & Pirates,' is more than adequate to propel an artist to the top position. But Kenny ain't exactly crying into his great big hat -- knowhutimean (to quote the late, great Ernest P. Worrell)? May we at With a Bullet humbly suggest a revised strategy for reaching No. 1? Next time, Chesney should have his handlers pick a fake fight with, say, Tim McGraw.

The top five albums for the week ending September 16:

1. 'Graduation,' Kanye West (958,000 in 1st week)
   
2. 'Curtis,' 50 Cent (692,000 in 1st week)
3. 'Just Who I Am: Poets & Pirates,' Kenny Chesney (387,000 in 1st week)
4. 'High School Musical 2,' Soundtrack (133,000 in 5th week; 1,490,000 total)
   
5. ''Hannah Montana 2: Meet Miley Cyrus,' Soundtrack (42,000 in 10th week; 1,292,000 total)