Joe did want to give it a go and found himself wanting more, more, more. Patti LaBelle belted out the mother of all hooker songs with frank French panache and a bit of orgasmic gobbledygook. It's a chart-topper that packs a caution, as Joe gets back to his regular life and can't quite sleep right again. But he's hardly a ruined stalker sad-sack like most of the other johns on this list. Marmalade must spread sweetly.