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Denis Leary's Top 5 Musical Assaults

  • Posted on Oct 15th 2008 5:00PM by Steve Baltin
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Denis Leary takes music so seriously that he once quipped, "You see that scar on my wrist? I heard the Bee Gees were getting back together." The 51-year-old actor and comedian, a four-time Emmy nominee who once proudly sang, "I'm an a--hole," is a devout Rolling Stones and Greg Dulli fan. And when he doesn't like something, everyone knows it. His hilarious new book, 'Why We Suck: A Feel Good Guide to Staying Fat, Lazy, Loud and Stupid,' features some vintage Leary attacks on musicians of all genres. In the spirit of his printed screed, he unleashes his sharp tongue on the following performers.

1. Madonna: "I looked at [comedy] like music, like there's the middle-of-the-road s--- like Madonna, and then there's, like, the Clash. I always liked the Clash, and I f---ing would never listen to an entire Madonna song unless I was taken hostage and drugged."

2. Britney Spears: "Britney Spears melts down for over 15 months on international TV. Then her other daughter -- who is 16 -- announces she is pregnant. And what does her mom do? Write a book about being a great parent!

3. The Grateful Dead: "Mushrooms are for cheeseburgers, pasta sauces, soup and getting high enough to think that the Grateful Dead were actually a good band when in fact they were just a bunch of spaced-out, balding junkies with two songs they managed to spread out over four hours as a scam to sell tie-dyed T-shirts."

4. Michael Jackson: "Do not go to his house or hotel room or anywhere with this guy! I don't give a s--- what Macaulay Culkin says: The guy's a weirdo! Believe me when I tell you: Michael Jackson is a priest in pop star's clothing."

5. Clay Aiken, Hannah Montana and Celine Dion: "F--- waterboarding: Who needs it? You wanna torture terrorists and tyrants? Play some real American music! And when I say 'hard' I mean really hardcore: Clay Aiken, Hannah Montana, Celine Dion -- in English and French. You play that s--- for a couple of days, he'll be begging to be waterboarded."

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TomJoad666

Before I explain what his comments in his book meant I'll say this. Fuck your Autistic children. Now that I have your attention, you morons need to realize he's talking about the children who don't need the medication, the parents who come up with reasons why they can't take care of their kids as an excuse to put them on drugs. Not your children you are so quick to throw in his face to prove a point in your own heads. Go hug your child and take care of them instead of spew your shit about a man who your giving more attention to and making a bigger ass at of yourself.

December 11 2009 at 4:59 PM Report abuse Permalink rate up rate down Reply
HALL OF FAMER

I have a family of firefighter's. They all HAD a lot of respect for Leary. Not anymore. What he said is ignorance, because he knows nothing about autism. If he did he would NOT have said those horrible remarks. Let him live with our friends grandchild for a day. Not easy Denis, you would be on your hands and knees thanking God your kids didn't have to go through life with autism. If you can't say something nice, shut your mouth. Is it to sell your book? Pat Mc

October 19 2008 at 12:46 PM Report abuse Permalink rate up rate down Reply
Terrapin

Dennis Leary has obvioulsy never been to a Grateful Dead concert because if he had, he would have realized that Jerry Garcia was an amazing guitar player and composer. He had no equal and is a true American Icon.

Furthermore, the Grateful Dead played for more people than any other rock band in history. Their live performances are the stuff of legend and it is a shame that people like Leary are so close minded that they can make statements like this out of hand. The problem with Leary is that the Dead's music is obviously too complicated for him. The bottom line is that thousand of Deadheads throughout the world cannot be all wrong.

October 17 2008 at 10:33 AM Report abuse Permalink rate up rate down Reply
adorablewormgirl

It is true that there are parents out there that are like you described as "inattentive" however, there are those who are doting and loving and GUESS WHAT? their child is still autistic. Not everyone is as negative as you paint them to be, and vice versa. This is real life, there is no humor in the shortcomings of others. Stick with knock knock jokes, I am sure those would be funnier than half the insensitive sht you come up with.
That is what is wrong with our society, no one has any compassion, and especially not Mr. Leary. It is no wonder people are so phucked up...insensitive pricks are always there to bring them down and keep em down.

So in closing, let me say,

Phuck you Denis Leary. You are not funny and the people who think you are, are also rude phuckers, just like you. Your book should be burned as you deserve to be burned in effigy.

October 17 2008 at 3:58 AM Report abuse Permalink rate up rate down Reply
Go Gamecocks!!

Would you prefer someone be nice to you or honest with you.Sure autism exists and it's a growing problem much like ADHD was back in my day.Lil Johnny acts up in school or makes a bad grade....he must be autistic or have ADHD because it isnt possible with all the video games and television programming that your kids are just "waterheads".I mean, a doctor has to blame someone right? Certainly not the mother who eats BK every day and smokes a pack and a half of ciggarettes a day, mixed in with the after work "cocktail" of booze,pills,weed or whatever.Its pretty damn simple:Whatever you put in your body will eventually come out.Autisim,more often than not,is the result of the way the mother took care of herself.How do I know this you ask?A friend of mine was born with an autistic child and she was a walking pharmacy.When we found out she was pregnant I remember telling my wife,that kids gonna be screwed up and as sure as a turd sticks, he is.All this fast food with the additives and preservatives couldnt have anything to do with it right? That pack and a half of Newports you smoke every day couldnt have anything to do with it,right? The fact that you sit your fat ass on the couch and watch soap operas all day instead of excersizing and taking care of yourself {and your unborn child} couldnt have anything to do with it right? And last BUT not least,to "rayraywint"? Oh, one day you will submit to the will of God.I also bet if someone stuck a .357 mag. to your head, yould submit to him too.The moral and ethical decay of this country is a crying shame.Why wont anyone just stand up and admit "I could have done a better job while I was pregnant".That wont happen because everything is someone elses fault.It amazes me the sheer and utter stupidity of some of you posters.Now, go back to your meth pipes and your screwed up children and think about what kind of EXAMPLE you set for them and think about all the "crap" you put in your body while pregnant and maybe,just maybe some of you knuckleheads will realize the brutal truth.

October 16 2008 at 7:00 PM Report abuse Permalink rate up rate down Reply
elephantman

Good for Denis at least he likes The Clash

October 16 2008 at 5:44 PM Report abuse Permalink rate up rate down Reply
k.c.

finally the truth. Don't hate on him american cult song hanna montanners

October 16 2008 at 5:40 PM Report abuse Permalink rate up rate down Reply
Diane

Denis Leary is a comedian! Chill people! As far as his remarks regarding autism-He's right! Remember a few years back when they handed out Ritalin like M&M's to every child that was a little more active? Activity is good! ADD was a perfect excuse for parents.

October 16 2008 at 5:17 PM Report abuse Permalink rate up rate down Reply
2 replies to Diane's comment
Bryan

Yes, people did abuse the system on ADD in the 90's when Ritalin came out ( it had such a good result on the kids with genuine cases that other parents thought it could solve all their problems with their kids too, so they went out in search of getting a diagnosis and when they pushed most of the time doctors didn't push back) but... AUTISM IS NOT ADD. They are very different disorders and using the ADD issue as example, shows that you really don't understand Autism. Please read some of my other comment replies, maybe you'll learn something.

October 16 2008 at 5:47 PM Report abuse Permalink rate up rate down Reply
Diane

Bryan,
Perhaps you misunderstood me. I do understand that Autism is a real affliction. I would never wish it on anyone. However it has become a catch-all excuse for parents & teachers to justify THEIR shortcomings. That is the point I was trying to get across.
=)

October 17 2008 at 11:53 AM Report abuse Permalink rate up rate down Reply
Alice

People take things far to seriously. There is humor in almost everything, you just have to have a good sense of humor to appreciate it. I saw Denis Leary last year in NYC and I couldn't stop laughing, he is not only hilarious, he says things most people are thinking, but are afraid to say. He's awesome!! And Rescue Me? The best show on television hands down. I look foward to his book coming out, I'm sure it will not disappoint!

October 16 2008 at 4:07 PM Report abuse Permalink rate up rate down Reply
Stephanie

If you really take the time to think about it, Mr Leary is right about a lot of what he's said. Energetic children who aren't able to play outside anymore without parents fearing them being kidnapped or murdered are labeled ADD and put on medication to make them behave like little Zombies. Children who are passed over by schools who are understaffed with teachers whose only concern is collecting a paycheck for sitting on their fat ass, are labeled autistic and put on medication and therapy because no one spends any time with them (including the parents!) Physicians are quick to hand down a diagnosis because they know most parents will spend whatever it takes to make their babies better. Twenty years ago there was no such thing as autism or ADD - think outside the box people, you're being hosed!! These so-called new afflictions are just a means to pad your doctors pocket and insure the drug companies the business they need to keep coming up with drugs for new diseases they con you into believing you have!

October 16 2008 at 2:42 PM Report abuse Permalink rate up rate down Reply
1 reply to Stephanie's comment
Bryan

Not only are you Cranky but you're F'n Stupid too. Or at least you just sound that way from making such boldly inaccurate statements. You should really think about researching something before you spout off like you're some kind of freakn' expert on it. I'll try to make this clear for you since you are so clueless. AUTISM IS NOT ADD NOR IS IT NEW. THE CURRENT DEFINITION IS RELATIVELY NEW BECAUSE WE UNDERSTAND IT BETTER BUT ITS BEEN AROUND FOR WELL OVER FIFTY YEARS AS A GENUINE DISORDER AND WE CAN TRACE CASES OF IT BACK CENTURIES. THERE IS NO MEDICATION PRESCRIBED FOR AUTISM. DIAGNOSIS ARE NOT JUST HANDED OUT TO MAKE EVERYONE HAPPY, THIS IS A SERIOUS LIVE ALTERING DISORDER THAT AFFECTS EVERYONE INVOLVED. ITS TESTING, DIAGNOSIS, AND TREATMENT IS ALL TAKEN VERY SERIOUSLY. THERE ARE NOT SCAMMY DOCS OR LAZY PARENTS BENEFITING AT ALL BY GETTING SOME KIND OF FALSE DIAGNOSIS. WHAT COULD THEY BENEFIT FROM THIS? Jokes and opinions are one thing, (if you disagree you can just take them with a grain of salt and move on) but when people start spreading misinformation and distorting the facts of Autism and slandering the people involved because they heard something form someone else and now have a F'n PhD on the subject, that's when they become offensive and deserve to be called on their stupidity. So, Crankybytch, can you give us ANY facts or statistical data to back up your BS or were you just pulling it out of your ass?

October 16 2008 at 5:36 PM Report abuse Permalink rate up rate down Reply
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