Denis Leary's Top 5 Musical Assaults

Denis Leary takes music so seriously that he once quipped, "You see that scar on my wrist? I heard the Bee Gees were getting back together." The 51-year-old actor and comedian, a four-time Emmy nominee who once proudly sang, "I'm an a--hole," is a devout Rolling Stones and Greg Dulli fan. And when he doesn't like something, everyone knows it. His hilarious new book, 'Why We Suck: A Feel Good Guide to Staying Fat, Lazy, Loud and Stupid,' features some vintage Leary attacks on musicians of all genres. In the spirit of his printed screed, he unleashes his sharp tongue on the following performers.

1. Madonna: "I looked at [comedy] like music, like there's the middle-of-the-road s--- like Madonna, and then there's, like, the Clash. I always liked the Clash, and I f---ing would never listen to an entire Madonna song unless I was taken hostage and drugged."

2. Britney Spears: "Britney Spears melts down for over 15 months on international TV. Then her other daughter -- who is 16 -- announces she is pregnant. And what does her mom do? Write a book about being a great parent!

3. The Grateful Dead: "Mushrooms are for cheeseburgers, pasta sauces, soup and getting high enough to think that the Grateful Dead were actually a good band when in fact they were just a bunch of spaced-out, balding junkies with two songs they managed to spread out over four hours as a scam to sell tie-dyed T-shirts."

4. Michael Jackson: "Do not go to his house or hotel room or anywhere with this guy! I don't give a s--- what Macaulay Culkin says: The guy's a weirdo! Believe me when I tell you: Michael Jackson is a priest in pop star's clothing."

5. Clay Aiken, Hannah Montana and Celine Dion: "F--- waterboarding: Who needs it? You wanna torture terrorists and tyrants? Play some real American music! And when I say 'hard' I mean really hardcore: Clay Aiken, Hannah Montana, Celine Dion -- in English and French. You play that s--- for a couple of days, he'll be begging to be waterboarded."

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