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Laugh, Rage, Cry With Tegan Quin
- Posted on Nov 10th 2008 2:00PM by Tegan Quin
The Rules: Over the course of six weeks, we'll challenge Tegan and Sara to blog about one of three themes -- laugh, rage or cry -- and, in fine Sister Quin fashion, wax literal on something that recently made them do just that. It's simple, really. The twins will alternate weeks, bringing their blogging total to 3-all. We wanted to call this series Brooklyn Tegan and Dr. Quin, but then we came to our senses. Without further ado ...This Week's Theme: RAGE
Editor's Note: This week's edition of Laugh, Rage, Cry will be a special one, featuring two individual columns by both Tegan and Sara, who chose to respond to the passing of California's Proposition 8, which rescinds the right for homosexuals to marry.
This past week has been full of ups and downs for me. I'm sad I left "Rage" for this essay, mainly because I think what we really need right now is to embody the courage, calm and focus that Barack Obama used in becoming President Elect. He endured ridiculous circumstances and ignorance with dignity. He never complained. He never cried. He never seemed angry enough to smack John McCain in their debates. I would have. I could never be president. I would definitely let my rage spill out. I did. Every time I heard "my friends," I would swear and sweat and seethe. But Obama didn't do that. He just smiled and looked into our eyes all across America and beyond, assuring us he would, he could. And he did.
If this essay were about crying I would write about how sorry I am for all the same sex couples (numbering nearly 20,000) who got married in California this past summer, and whose relationships now hang in the balance, waiting to find out if their nuptials are null and void.
I would tell you how sorry I am for those who got engaged in hopes that they would be able to get married but now cannot.
I would write about how my eyes welled up and the tears spilled out of me on election night, when the Proposition 8 "Yes" votes outnumbered the "No" votes in California.
I would write about how angry and frustrated I felt, standing outside the gates protecting the Mormon Church on Sunset Blvd, wondering who and what could protect our rights.
I don't want to write about rage, but I have certainly felt it this past week. I felt it most when the girl I am dating -- who has never dated a girl before -- collapsed in her car and cried after the Prop 8 rally. She wondered aloud if we wouldn't make more progress by just crying rather than yelling and being angry. I've wondered this a lot myself. Is it in part our anger and our frustration that adds to their anger and judgment?
I've felt personal rage because I've worked so hard to win over this girl, and now in the wake of a new relationship, I'm spending most of my time focusing on and reflecting the hatred and judgment some people feel for those of us who are in same-sex relationships and marriages. It's like telling someone your house is totally worth buying, but the only issue is that everyone on the block hates your house because it's the only one on the block with a single-car garage instead of a double. Ignoring the fact that, regardless of how it looks from the outside, yours is filled with the same love, compassion, and values.
I feel rage when I imagine the Prop Yes people celebrating, thinking they've won something, when, in fact, they've just stolen something.
I feel rage when I pour over the parallels between this civil rights movement and the ones of our past.
I feel rage when I read the statistics on who voted Yes. You'd think minorities and Mormons would specifically understand the burn of judgment, ignorance and prejudice.
But my rage is slowly transforming. It started as a rock in my stomach. Then a fire in my heart. Yesterday it was a fog in my mind. As the days have passed, I'm becoming focused and I am starting to feel brave again. I want to rally and march and be proud. This morning I felt triumphant. 67% of people who voted No on Prop 8 were under 30! Change is coming! As Melissa Etheridge wrote in a recent article, "Gay people are born everyday. You'll never legislate that away."
As I type, I feel hopeful. Look how far we have come! As an example, below are some quotes from Paul Martin, the former Prime Minister of Canada, who, three years ago, stood before Parliament and defended the rights of gay people. I hope they give you the antidote you might need to turn back the effects of the rage you might be feeling in the wake of the Prop 8 debacle. Let it instead inspire you the way it did me. Let it promote movement and organization on your part to continue the fight for civil rights for all people. Let it remove the stain of this Proposition and instead give way to change.
"The rights of Canadians who belong to a minority group must always be protected by virtue of their status as citizens, regardless of their numbers. These rights must never be left vulnerable to the impulses of the majority."
"We must always remember that 'separate but equal' is not equal."
"We all are lessened when any one of us is denied a fundamental right."
"Our rights must be eternal, not subject to political whim."
"Over time, perspectives changed. We evolved, we grew, and our laws evolved and grew with us. That is as it should be. Our laws must reflect equality not as we understood it a century or even a decade ago, but as we understand it today."
–Paul Martin, former Prime Minister of Canada
- Filed under: Laugh, Rage, Cry
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Emily
Obama isn't going to help the gay community. Democrats will not support gay marriage until our vote is not a "given". Gays are too faithful to the Democrats. Especially since it has gotten us no where. Our black president supports separate but equal in the from of civil unions. Hilariously ironic.
Gays would have more power if we split between the parties and let them fight over us. I'm a lifelong democrat because I support income equality and detest the right wing...but I want to start a family soon and cannot afford to wait for the democrats to get around to voting in our favor. I'm sick of fighting for others' rights, just to watch them (minorities, lower income individuals) screw over my loved ones.
Celeste
While reading this it made me very sad and tear up. One reason is because I support gay's rights to marry and another is because I'm Mormon. There is a irony that the LDS (Mormons) people are against rights of others when we were so suppressed ourselves (and in some cases still are). The people that could be legally killed and have their land taken from them in a certain state back in the day can't see that other people are being unfairly treated and that we should stand up for them. Yes, our religion doesn't treat gay people the same as straight people, and that might never change, but we have been told to love the persons and that there is so much more to a person than their sexuality. Sadly, this love often isn't put into practice. Hopefully this will change.
Now, the Mormon Church had every right to campaign for a "yes" vote on Prop 8 - the essence of freedom. But it shouldn't really be put in the people's hands to vote for a minority's rights. There were a lot of other churches that were along with my church on this, yet somehow we got singled out - don't worry, we've gotten used to it by now ;). People in this country have their freedom to choose what religion they would like to believe in, if any at all. The LDS Church praises this, and this was instrumental to the Church being able to get started. It seems that most people's reasons for voting against gay marriage is because of religion. Separation of church and state, people! If a certain church doesn't want to marry a couple for whatever reason that is their prerogative, but the State should be blind to sex, race, and any sort of other thing (as long as they are consenting adults,...). As a U.S. citizen I don't know how I could ever vote against gay marriage. And as a Mormon, if I'm supposed to love gay people for who they are than I should certainly love them enough to give them this basic right, a right that shows other people one's person dedicated love to another.
I'm sorry to get all essay on your butts - those of you who read all of this (I really wasn't planning on being so verbose). And I'm extremely sorry for those of you who had your rights denied and those of you who fight for them. Things will change, they have to! Thank you for reading yet another person's point of view.
Love,
Celeste
20, Utah
kattttt
I love how open and honest this is, and so true as well, I think Obamas presidencys really going to favour minorities and hopefully sort out this Proposition 8 nonsense, its just ridiculous
December 07 2008 at 9:06 AM Report abuse Permalink rate up rate down Reply
Haidrie
1 reply to Haidrie's comment
TEGAN I saw you and shook your hand at the rally in LA.. we were at the park.. my name is Adrie.. I've been driving to LA to protest since the week of the elections.. I really like ur melancholy spirit.. be we are two of the same consciousness.. anyway.. thank you for marching with us.. but why don't u march with us to Hollywood and Highland.. please.. We will continue next weekend.. but all this week too.. I am running out of gas funds so maybe I won't make it there this week or this next weekend ... I hope our paths meet again and we can chill.. peace kay
November 17 2008 at 12:23 AM Report abuse Permalink rate up rate down Reply
Haidrie
By the way if you want to write to me or chat online.. try my aim screenname: SilvaPrints
well thats my more professional side otherwise its: WhySoBabelicious
lol
you can try adding me on myspace.com/djnc17
Juji
your article make me happy.
:]
I'm so glad that you are now inspired, rather than only angry.
I am not gay, but when I heard the results of Proposition 8, I cried.
I cried hard and so did my friends.
it makes me sad that after all we've been through in America, so many people don't realize how they're hurt so many people.
But now, I wanna march and protest and really try to do something about this.
l0lp3z
I think you guys are totally misunderstanding the minority comment - it wasn't meant to be a dig. I think what she means here is that she doesn't understand how ANY minority could vote against another's rights - considering all of us have experienced the same pain (and disenfranchisement) that comes with being judged for who you are. I think she's saying that if anyone was to understand, it should be those of minority status with similar heart-breaking experiences. Personally, I agree with her - If other victims of hate can't understand us and won't stand up for/with us, then who will??
November 14 2008 at 5:30 AM Report abuse Permalink rate up rate down Reply
tokyonights0
The talk of race has played much to big a role in the Prop 8 discussion. This is really about 2 issues, age and religion. Younger people tend to be much more open-minded when it comes to gay rights. Largely because they've known gays, watch shows with gays ect. In other words, they view them as their equal. Older people are the opposite of that. Polls, not in just in California, show that older people overwhelmingly support banning gay marriage.
And then you come to the biggest elephant in the room, religion. Tackling that will be the biggest hurdle of all.
With that said, having Obama in office should be a big help. He often speaks of gays in a very positive light in his speeches. It might seem like a small thing, but consider how our current president thinks of gays. We've spent 8 years where targeting gays was a way to get extra votes. So having someone in there that doesn't have a negative view of gays can only lead to positive things.
mpenxa
Human Beings.
(Please note the punctuation)
Pinch yourself, make sure you are still one and treat each other as such. Why is this so hard?
Sarahpsatease
There are Mormon churches here in Salt lake City where gay Mormons frequent. There are ALL types of people- Just because people sort themselves out doesn't mean they are going to stop believing in what they believe. They just can't 'act' on it. Which is where the bullshi* lies. They seriously expect people to be gay, but to never act on it- Sadly people believe in the Mormon religion SO much or fear losing their families or kids etc and hide under the blanket of sexuality forever. Very sad.
I love Tegan, her head is out of her ass about so many different things, I wish she was around when I was coming out ten years ago! :)
Rachel
The passing of Proposition 8 makes me shamed to be an American. Granted, I do live in a red state, but there were always hopes of one day it passing in one state and spreading to the red states.
I was elated, like you, to find out that Barack Obama is now the president elect. I screamed it out in the streets. Our president cares about us, no matter what people we love.
However, my favourite part of the whole situation is the biggest financial contributor is the Mormon church, the sect of people, which were so prejudiced against that they had to form their own state.
I can only hope that someday America will be like Canada, allowing every person their right to love whomever they want to love.
22 Comments