Buffett Brawl Leads to Death

The non-Parrotheads among us may well know the homicidal urges that can accompany an unwanted audience with Jimmy Buffett's 'Cheeseburger in Paradise.' This, however, is much more tragic than an arena full of Hawaiian shirts.

A 37-year-old special forces soldier named Richard Lopez, just back from a tour of duty in Afghanistan, died recently after hitting his head on the pavement during a bar brawl in Steamboat Springs, Colorado. Witnesses say the altercation started over an unnamed Buffett song the soldier wanted to play on the jukebox. A group of men allegedly argued with Lopez and his friends, insisting on playing a Kanye West song instead.

When Lopez was punched in the jaw, he fell backward and hit his head, dying four days later at Denver Health Medical Center. Police are trying to determine the severity of the charges they will press, ranging from second-degree assault to manslaughter. In the meantime, the assailants might reconsider a certain Buffett tune: 'Jamaica Mistaica.'