Some teenagers in Christchurch, New Zealand, have been terrorizing shoppers at an outdoor mall, drinking, doing drugs, spreading trash and graffiti and harassing customers. The local business association has a diabolical plan for the little pests: They're hoping to kill them with kindness.

The dulcet tones of Barry Manilow will now be prominently featured in the mix of piped-in music at the mall, Central City Business Association manager Paul Lonsdale told the Associated Press. If the man who is Music itself can't soothe the savage beasties, the idea is to drive them away.

Lonsdale stopped short of acknowledging that unleashing 'Mandy' and 'Can't Smile Without You' on unsuspecting punks is tantamount to intergenerational warfare: "I did not say Barry Manilow is a weapon of mass destruction," he said. Well played, sir, though you might want to check for traces of plutonium in the singer's magnificent coiffure.