Here at Spinner, we receive more CDs than we can possibly listen to. Sadly, many of them, whether good or bad, get consigned to The Crap Stack, where they languish until they're eventually carted off to become shiny silver landfill somewhere. However, in our version of Musical Lotto, we've decided to rescue -- completely at random -- three discs from the pile and give them a proper and fair reviewing. Will the chosen CD be crap-tastic -- or just plain crap? Let's find out, shall we?

Satyricon: 'The Age of Nero' (album): For about three months of the year, the sun never rises about the horizon in the north of Norway and [lo!] this blackest of albums from these Norwegian metal gods must surely have been written during those dark times. Opener 'Commando' kicks off with muffled blastbeats, a distorted voice barking orders and what can only be described as the sound of someone being flogged. All this before the full-on assault of some furiously high-speed guitars and the sound of drummer Frost doing his best to bend one of his cymbals. Put it this way -- we don't think Nana will be putting this on the gramophone at her weekly embroidery get-together.

Yet, this isn't metal of an inaccessible variety with vocals screamed unintelligibly at the listener -- sure, songs like 'The Wolfpack' have all the hallmarks of black metal, with pile-driving guitar riffs and monstrously rolling kick drums, but they also exhibit a groove that will get even the most resolute non-headbanger nodding his or head along with the tune.

A stand-out track is the mighty 'Black Crow on a Tombstone,' a song that tips its hat to the notion in literature and art that crows are harbingers of death and destruction (did you know a group of crows is referred to as a "murder" of crows?!). Gigantic riffs abound with some of the finest kick drum work you'll hear pre-Meshuggah's 'Obzen,' coupled with dark, dark lyrics, " Hidden under its wings/The darkness you wish to hide/Bearer of ugly truths." Yeah, you guessed it, we think 'The Age of Nero' is, ahem, "wicked" -- it's just probably not for all "ages." Download Satyricon Songs | Buy Satyricon CDs


Remma: 'Forcibly Impressed' (single): With a title like 'Forcibly Impressed', this single jumped out at us from the 'Stack, begging the question, "How the heck do you fit the words 'forcibly impressed' into a song?" and, more important, 'will we be forcibly impressed?' Let's find out!

Remma hail from Cork, Ireland, and on first hearing they instantly lend themselves to comparisons with the likes of Snow Patrol and, actually, the Cranberries (it's easy to imagine Dolores and the boys doing a cover of this track and, whaddya know?!, former 'Berries axe man Noel Hogan produced Remma's album!). Accordingly, the track opens with gloomily picked guitars and vocalist Shane O'Herlihy does a decent enough job of infusing his voice with appropriate amounts of angst.

Perhaps the most remarkable thing about this song, because unfortunately it's just not that exciting a listen, is the fact that Remma do indeed manage to squeeze "forcibly impressed" in. Admittedly, it's not the most natural-sounding of phrases in a tune, but hats off to them for trying and kind of succeeding. Otherwise, we're a bit unmoved and underly impressed with this offering. Sad face. Download Remma Songs | Buy Remma CDs


Ours: 'The Worst Things Beautiful' (single): When he sings in a low voice, New Jersey native Jimmy Gnecco is perhaps best described as an Ian Curtis or maybe a David Byrne soundalike. But Holy Bono! -- when he unleashes his higher register, his pipes are a dead ringer for Mr. Hewson's, and his band sound, frankly, like a U2 tribute band. A pretty decent tribute band but a tribute band nonetheless, and once that mental image is lodged in the listener's brain, it's hard to hear them and not picture "that other band." But, we should at least try.

'The Worst Things Beautiful' opens engagingly enough with some cool percussion and a catchy guitar hook, then the Edge, I mean, Static's guitar part (or is it the other guitarist, Locke? Geez, these guys even go in for one-word names!) soars into the heavens and the song begins. And it's really not so bad, sonically or lyrically, albeit a tad melodramatic -- "Wait until the morning comes around/Wait for something beautiful" -- but overall the song is definitely a foot-tapper. It's just hard to give the band any credit for anything when they've settled for taking the easy path of the doppelganger. We like U2, too, we get it. But please, give us something of your own. Download Ours Songs | Buy Ours CDs