Twisted Tales: UK Christmas No. 1's, From Rage Against the Machine to Mr. Blobby

Posted on Dec 25th 2009 5:00PM by James Sullivan
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Before the Grinch's heart grew three sizes that day, the thing he hated most about Christmas was all the noise, noise, noise, noise. This year, at least in the UK, he'll just have to live with it: Rage Against the Machine's 17-year-old song 'Killing in the Name,' with help from an unlikely Facebook campaign, has been declared Britain's latest Christmas No. 1 single on the charts.

For almost 60 years, the Christmas No. 1 has been a beloved British institution, a much-ballyhooed sweepstakes in which hit singles vie for the prestigious year-end ranking. Unsurprisingly, the Beatles hold the record with four No. 1's during Christmas week.

For the past four years, non-holiday songs by Simon Cowell's stable of 'X Factor' winners have dominated. Other number ones, such as Band Aid's 'Do They Know It's Christmas?' and vintage Christmas ditties by the glam bands Slade and Mud, have been more seasonally attuned.

On occasion, seeming shoo-ins have been bumped to the No. 2 spot by less thematic hits, like the year the Pet Shop Boys' 'Always on My Mind' beat out the Pogues' 'Fairytale of New York.' In 1990, old Brit warhorse Cliff Richard bested Vanilla Ice's festive 'Ice Ice Baby.' Eight years later, the Spice Girls kept another song that should have become a holiday tradition, the 'South Park' Chef-sung dirty ditty 'Chocolate Salty Balls,' from its rightful place as a Christmas No. 1.

The history of this pop phenomenon includes at least one real-life tragedy. Slade's drummer, Don Powell, was in a car crash weeks before the band recorded 'Merry Xmas Everybody.' Though his girlfriend died, the drummer emerged from a coma in time to record his part.

Minor tragedies of the artistic sort have been far more common. Comedian Benny Hill's 'Ernie, the Fastest Milkman in the West' became an improbable Yuletide chart-topper in 1971. The novelty song 'Lily the Pink,' by the comic trio the Scaffold (one of whose members was Paul McCartney's brother, with uncredited appearances by session musicians Elton John and Jack Bruce) was the top holiday single of 1968.

Even stranger was the year that Bob the Builder's theme song, 'Can We Fix It?,' sawed its way to Christmas No. 1, despite having nothing to do with infuriatingly flimsy gifts that require assembly. But the most ridiculous Christmas chart-topper of all – voted Most Annoying in a 2002 HMV poll – was the 1993 holiday assault by Mr. Blobby.

Mr. Blobby was an oversize pink bowling pin with yellow polka dots, a bow tie, google eyes and the crazed expression of a child who has eaten the whole box of Russell Stovers chocolates before emptying his stocking. A recurring character on a Saturday night BBC variety show, Mr. Blobby spoke only one word, his own name, which was featured in the self-titled theme song that took the top spot at the end of 1993. "Barney without his medication," as the character was once described, Blobby made news when he knocked a girl's birthday cake to the ground during a public appearance, earning an attack from an irate father.

Sadly, Mr. Blobby's 1995 attempt at a repeat, 'Christmas in Blobbyland,' barely eked into the top 40. Another costumed character took the top spot that year – Michael Jackson.