Protest the Hero Torment Tim on Tour: Road Report

Canadian prog-metal heroes Protest the Hero have set out across the country headlining the annual SnoCore tour, despite the fact that most of the snow is already departed. Still, the core remains and PtH's lead singer Rody Walker is blogging the band's excellent adventures for Spinner.

Day One

The bus picked me up at five o' clock in the morning. I wasn't pleased. I crawled into my bunk and woke up in Montreal.

I met the new crew that morning, both of whom were hired off Craigslist. If first impressions are indeed everything, I believe these gentlemen are going to be incredibly efficient. We have nicknamed them Dennis and Randy Quaid.

We loaded into the venue, took a bunch of creatine and pumped our muscles until we couldn't move our arms. We are crazy bad-ass. We played a show and the Jagerettes were extremely aggravating.

After the show we went to a bar we all love called Foufounes Électriques where we saw some fella fall off his chair and throw up all over himself. It was wicked cool. Also at Fouf's I played a game of snooker with Peter our merchant... Ten minutes into the game we realized neither of us knew how to play snooker and we were actually just playing marbles.

We crawled back to the bus, hopped back in our bunks and rode hard into the night.

Day 2

I woke up in front of the venue, surprised to find the venue had been changed due to lackluster ticket sales.... I blame no one but myself.

Later we proceeded to cut Tim's hair in a fashion so as to appear as though he's balding. He then went for a jog and showed his bald forehead to the wonderful people of Ottawa.

We ate a bunch of poutine and sh-- all over the place.

We played a show and Tim wore the costume of a Jagerette... It was ridiculous but fun.

Directly after the set Tim left for the casino in Hull [Quebec]. We didn't see him again for the rest of the night. In fact, as I was lying in my bunk I received a phone call from him. I ignored it. It turns out that we had actually left him behind and he was stranded. I'm not really sure how the situation resolved itself. But it seems to have.