Martin Hausler Only Son's sophomore album Searchlight features melancholy New…
- Posted on Feb 4th 2011 3:00PM by Marina Galperina
I would say without a doubt the New York Yankees. At this stage of the game, it's just foolish to count them out. They are the richest team and deserve to win whatever they decide to play. If it's football, then I'm sorry to break it to you L.A. Lakers, but it's pinstripe time.
How are they going to do it?
It will be a cunning combination of cash and checks. There may be some stock involved but that will almost certainly not hit the media.
Who will be the key players?
I think that Wilt Chamberlain and Mickey Mantle haven't been spoken about much lately but since they've begun those intense outdoor blizzard practices with Sylvester Stallone it's really just a matter of time before the Stanley Cup is theirs.
How much will they win by?
At least $270 million, if not a couple of points more.
What's your favorite sport?
At the moment my favorite sport is hunching over the computer and typing for hours on end until osteoporosis fossilizes me into the most lifelike statue of a 21st Century Man that there is in the Smithsonian E-seum.
What is your favorite team of all time?
Despite what I said before, it's the Yankees. As the players change over the years, the uniforms still look amazing. And honestly, after all is said and done, we root for the uniforms. They should hold a parade for whoever designed it. Better branding than McDonald's and it doesn't even slowly chip away at your life force.
What's your favorite childhood sports-related memory?
My favorite childhood sports memory is playing stickball with my friend Charlie in the school yard where we grew up. We were very evenly matched and it seemed harder to be good at that sport since the bat was so thin. A home run really meant something -- usually that Charlie threw a big, slow watermelon over the plate that a blind man could hit without opening his ears.
What's your favorite thing to eat at any sporting event?
Beer-dipped hot dogs at the old Yankee Stadum. Granted, I had a few beers already before I dipped the dogs, and my sleeve probably would've tasted just as good, but still. For the sake of clarity, let's just say beer-soaked sleeves with the faint smell of hot dogs in the air.
If you could create the perfect football/basketball/baseball team, which players would you choose?
I would probably choose the players that were most entertaining. Guys who threw sidearm, guys with unique beards, screamers, base stealers, dudes with dreads and without a doubt Yogi Berra. You cannot beat that guy's perspective on life.