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Hold Me Closer, Tony Danza: Top 10 Funniest Misheard Lyrics

Elton John, Tony DanzaGetty Images (2)

So long as there have been song lyrics, there have been listeners getting them wrong. The typical knee-jerk reaction is to cover up any confusion with a string of indecipherable mumbles, but the more confident among us belt out our own homophonous interpretations. After years of mistaken beliefs, it's usually a sobering karaoke performance that reveals the awkward truth -- "So Jimi Hendix doesn't kiss dudes?" Nope. Spare yourself some embarrassment and check out some of the most common, and funniest, misheard lyrics of all time, then admit to your own SNAFU'd sing-alongs below.
Elton John -- 'Tiny Dancer'
Misheard: "Hold me closer, Tony Danza."
Real: "Hold me closer, tiny dancer."
Even though Elton John wrote this tune seven years before Tony Danza made his 'Taxi' debut, you can be sure many a feather-banged lady preferred this take on Sir Elton's classic well through puppy-dog-eyed Mr. Danza's 'Who's The Boss?' heyday. The effect persisted into the '90s and the Danzafied version even made an appearance on 'Friends' courtesy of the not-so-bright Phoebe, but earlier this year, Danza himself set the record straight on 'Funny or Die.
Jimi Hendrix -- 'Purple Haze'
Misheard:"S'cuse me while I kiss this guy"
Real: "S'cuse me while I kiss the sky."
This is the quintessential misheard lyric because it's so bang-on, and it certainly wasn't helped when the Hendrix himself sang the sound-alike version at his live shows (you can check out one performance here, skip to the 3:22 mark). The whole situation got even more hazy-eyed giggles with a "kiss this fly" rendition in Cheech and Chong's Nice Dreams' movie.
Pearl Jam -- 'Glorified'
Misheard: "Horrified virgin on a pelican"
Real: "Glorified version of a pellet gun"
Eddie Vedder is no stranger to being misheard, but back in '93 the godfather of grunge likely could have gotten away with groaning out whatever he pleased. This is one case where the misheard lyric is totes believable when you think about it. Virgin or not, you'd probably be pretty horrified to find yourself on a pelican.
Manfred Mann's Earth Band --'Blinded by the Light'
Misheard: "Wrapped up like a douche"
Real: "Revved up like a deuce"
Even if you actually take the time to figure out the real lyrics, you'll forget them next time you hear this song, because few people born this side of the '30s know what a deuce is: i.e. a Deuce coupe, the nickname for the the 1932 Ford Model B which was often souped-up into a racing hot rod. Then again, wrapping up a douche makes no more sense. Best to just go with "reddeb lebba dooosh" for this part like everyone else.
Van Halen -- 'Panama'
Misheard: "You reach down between my legs... squeeze the seed bag."
Real: "You reach down between my legs... ease the seat back."
Even when David Lee Roth slows 'er down and speaks his lyrics rather than screeching them, there's room for error. This misinterpretation does nothing to help the Van Halen frontman's claim that this song really is about a car. But wherever he wants to take this car/sex metaphor is his business, plus no one cares about anything beyond the fist-pumping and air guitar opportunities in this number anyway.
Adele -- 'Chasing Pavements'
Misheard: "Should I just keep chasing penguins?"
Real: "Should I just keep chasing pavements?"
To answer Adele's misconstrued question honestly -- even if it really does lead nowhere, chasing penguins is probably fun for a while, especially if you do it Dick Van Dyke-style. But then the Brit belter just rubs it in the penguins' flightless faces when she ditches her plans to chase them and goes on to say she might "fly around in circles." Just leave the poor earthbound waddlers alone, show-off.
Creedence Clearwater Revival -- 'Bad Moon Rising'
Misheard: "There's a bathroom on the right."
Real: "There's a bad moon on the rise."
It's a good thing Creedence Clearwater Revival is the musical accompaniment of choice on those nights you just need to sit with your buddy on their front porch and plow through a 12-pack of PBR. By the time 'Bad Moon Rising' comes on for the 16th time, you won't want to interrupt your pal's life-questioning space-stare to ask where the loo is. Just head down the hall, CCR's got you covered.
The National -- 'Mr. November'
Misheard: "I won't f--- her sober."
Real: "I won't f--- us over."
When you consider this song by the National was written in honor of Al Gore's pursuit of the U.S. presidency in 2000, it's a bit disconcerting that people actually think this is the chorus, but damned if it doesn't make you question the man's priorities for just a moment. Then in 2008, the band designed and sold a t-shirt featuring Obama's face and the words "Mr. November," with proceeds going towards his presidential campaign. But considering the state of the union today, you wonder if Obama got the song's lyrics wrong, too.
Hall and Oates -- 'Every Time You Go Away'
Misheard: "Every time you go away, take a piece of meat with you."
Real: "Take a piece of me with you."
Trust good 'ol Hall and Oates to keep your energy levels in mind, suggesting you stock up on protein before you hit the road. Then Paul Young came along with his 1985 cover and changed the song's meaning entirely by adding in a 'you' before 'take a piece of meat with you,' which is just downright accusatory. Let her take the meat, man; it's a sunken cost and the least of your worries, quite frankly.
Eagles -- 'Desperado'
Misheard: "You've been outright offensive for so long now."
Real: "You've been out riding fences for so long now."
This one takes on an extra level of poignancy when it comes across as a plea to some jerk named Desperado who needs to take it down a notch. Singer-drummer Don Henley probably should have gone for the misheard version at the Eagles' infamous final show in 1980 when tensions -- and verbal threats to kick one another's asses -- between him and guitarist/keyboardist Glenn Frey got offensive enough for sound techs to lower their mics.

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Christiano Jose Jabu

Song: "Girl, You'll be a Woman Soon" (Urge Overkill)
Misheard: His macho can
Real: He's not your kind

November 22 2012 at 10:57 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Christiano Jose Jabu

Song: "Girl, You'll be a Woman Soon" (Urge Overkill)
Misheard: His macho can
Real: He's not your kind

November 22 2012 at 10:56 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
JParker145

There are a lot more 'mondegreens' (the term for misunderstood song lyrics) here:
http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_is_the_term_for_misunderstood_song_lyrics&isLookUp=1

October 02 2012 at 7:56 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
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George Tater

I haven't seen a post for Roberta Flack's "killing me softly" lyrics . It was very difficult for people to distinguish "strumming my pain with his fingers". But one of my best friends, till this day, sings "good things are made of CHEESE".

May 01 2012 at 12:50 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
plawson329

What about "Don't fear the reaper"? Can't tell you how many times people insisted it was "Don't fear the Reefer" until I showed them the lyrics!

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