Zooey Deschanel's Income: What She Could Buy in a Month (Math!)

Thanks to TMZ, we now know that soon-to-be-divorcee Zooey Deschanel earns $95,000 a month, which resembles our salary in that it's an amount of dollars. Even though we don't care about the 'New Girl' star's finances, we started thinking about what she could possibly spend that on per month, if taxes and other expenditures weren't an issue. We even asked our 'Jersey Shore'-loving colleagues at HuffPost TV, the Benedict Cumberbatch fanboys at Moviefone and the Michele Bachmann historians at HuffPost Comedy. Using a wristwatch calculator without checking our math, here's what we came up with:

- 12.9% of this huge tuna.

- 9,500 Buddy the Elf sippy cups.

- Like, so much Taco Bell.

- 9,547 1-year subscriptions to Vibe.

- 902 dancing cat dolls that connect to your iPod.

- 3277 copies of 'Bones: The Complete Sixth Season' on Blu-ray.

- 805 Hello Kitty sewing machines.

- 40,254 Katy Perry masks.

- 433 of these hipster bikes.

- 7,600 magical pixie dust necklaces.

- Our new intern (for keeps).

- VIP treatment for 1,218 people at Medieval Times in Buena Park, Calif.

- 3,518 bowls made from recycled vinyl records.

- 2,255 digital copies of 'A Very She & Him Christmas' (perfect gift for next holiday season, which begins Aug.30, 2012).

- 1,665 ukuleles (to make beautiful hipster duets with Joseph Gordon-Levitt).

- 1,503 'I Will Follow You Into the Dark' imported singles (OK, that was mean).

- Fair Trade bathing suit: $50
+ Eco Body SPF 30+ sunscreen: $10
+ Tank of gas for Honda Civic: $46.06
+ Earth-friendly beach towel: $29.95
Total: $136.01

So, 698.47 days of summer.