Chris McGrath, Getty Images
We'd likely kick things off with French synth-rock duo Housse de Racket at the Gobi tent at 12:55, then head over to Metronomy at 2:00 at the Outdoor Theatre, followed by Santigold at the Coachella Stage at 3:25 (already a pretty good day). Then we'd return to the Gobi for Real Estate at 4:10, followed by Flying Lotus's spaced out collaborator Thundercat.
Next up, don't miss araabMUZIK's trance-inspired MPC mastery at the Mojave Tent at 5:55, followed by The Weeknd's first big live appearance, at 6:55 at the Outdoor Theatre.
After that, banging French house, courtesy of Justice, who we haven't seen live in years, at 7:45 at the Coachella Stage, where we'd stay for At the Drive-In's reunion set at 9:10, followed up by Modeselektor, headlining the Mojave tent, for some good old fashioned German techno.
To close out the night, we'd head back (last hike of the weekend) to the Coachella Stage tor Tupac's resurrection, during Dr. Dre & Snoop's headlining performance at 10:35, skirting Avicii, and avoiding the Sahara tent completely the entire day, for the first time in our history of attending Coachella.
Congratulations "EDM," you have driven us to choose a holographic image of Tupac over the rave tent. You win.