America's Weirdest & Worst Dance Music Festivals: 'EDM' 'Til Your Casket Drops
Dubstep, looming stilt walkers, fearless fire twirlers, aerial ballet and Tiesto. Basically, a weekend-long "Saw" marathon, but less fun.
Headliners: 12th Planet, Borgore, Calvin Harris, Chase & Status, Sebastian Ingrosso, STS9, Tiesto.
"Looming stilt walkers can be seen roaming the festival grounds, trapeze artists will take your breath away with their aerial ballet, fearless fire twirlers will memorize your eyes, and go-go dancers will keep you moving to the beat as you are swept up into the freak show that is Nocturnal Festival."
Pacifiers NO / Stuffed animals NO / LED Gloves NO / Dust masks NO / Massagers NO / Glowsticks OK / Illuminated Costumes OK / Sealed Tampons OK / Please Bring: Smiles, Good Vibes.
Headliners: 12th Planet, Borgore, Calvin Harris, Chase & Status, Sebastian Ingrosso, STS9, Tiesto.
"Looming stilt walkers can be seen roaming the festival grounds, trapeze artists will take your breath away with their aerial ballet, fearless fire twirlers will memorize your eyes, and go-go dancers will keep you moving to the beat as you are swept up into the freak show that is Nocturnal Festival."
Pacifiers NO / Stuffed animals NO / LED Gloves NO / Dust masks NO / Massagers NO / Glowsticks OK / Illuminated Costumes OK / Sealed Tampons OK / Please Bring: Smiles, Good Vibes.
Headliners: Datsik, Incubus and Skrillex meet Bon Jovi, DJ Pauly D and Kreayshawn on the Jersey Shore, everyone loses.
"The Bamboozle Festival is an artist development resource that has launched the careers of so many of today's top national recording artists and celebrities, while providing incredible entertainment to over 1 million fans over the past 9 years."
Artist development resource = concert?
Skateboards NO / Swimming NO / Mist Tent NO / Strollers OK / Eyedrops OK
"The Bamboozle Festival is an artist development resource that has launched the careers of so many of today's top national recording artists and celebrities, while providing incredible entertainment to over 1 million fans over the past 9 years."
Artist development resource = concert?
Skateboards NO / Swimming NO / Mist Tent NO / Strollers OK / Eyedrops OK
Brought to you by Insomniac, by Insomniac, whose events people sometimes die at, and whose founder is currently facing 13 years in prison on 29 charges.
Yes, they have bottle service and a gifting suite. PLUR!
Headliners: Afrojack, Alesso, Avicii, Bassnectar, Calvin Harris, Erick Morillo
"What do you get when you combine three massive stages, theatrical performances, three days at Met Life Stadium, and thousands of your friends?? The Electric Daisy Carnival NY!"
Bottle Service YES / EDC Gift Bag YES / Souvenir Laminate & Lanyard YES / Cosmic Table Package YES / 3 Bottle minimum required upon seating YES!
Yes, they have bottle service and a gifting suite. PLUR!
Headliners: Afrojack, Alesso, Avicii, Bassnectar, Calvin Harris, Erick Morillo
"What do you get when you combine three massive stages, theatrical performances, three days at Met Life Stadium, and thousands of your friends?? The Electric Daisy Carnival NY!"
Bottle Service YES / EDC Gift Bag YES / Souvenir Laminate & Lanyard YES / Cosmic Table Package YES / 3 Bottle minimum required upon seating YES!
Dubstep meets jam band for three days of stab me in the ear with a flaming fork.
Headliners: 12th Planet, moe., Pretty Lights, Shpongle, Umphrey's McGee, Zeds Dead
"The [hoopdance] class will allow all levels within the hoop to push their boundaries, heal and explore transcenDANCE. Step inside the hoop and explore inner movements. Tarapin and Sitara will be covering basic trick concepts and transistions [sic] as well as teacniques [sic] to incoroporate [sic] flow. By the end of each class, you can walk away with something new and be falling deeper into the discovery of your inner fluidity."
Guns NO / Animals NO / Bad Attitudes NO / Go Green Raffle YES / Soulshine activities YES / Open mics YES / Recycled Rhythms YES / Eco-clothing swap YES / Yoga YES / Hoopdance YES
Headliners: 12th Planet, moe., Pretty Lights, Shpongle, Umphrey's McGee, Zeds Dead
"The [hoopdance] class will allow all levels within the hoop to push their boundaries, heal and explore transcenDANCE. Step inside the hoop and explore inner movements. Tarapin and Sitara will be covering basic trick concepts and transistions [sic] as well as teacniques [sic] to incoroporate [sic] flow. By the end of each class, you can walk away with something new and be falling deeper into the discovery of your inner fluidity."
Guns NO / Animals NO / Bad Attitudes NO / Go Green Raffle YES / Soulshine activities YES / Open mics YES / Recycled Rhythms YES / Eco-clothing swap YES / Yoga YES / Hoopdance YES
Jam meets EDM ... hey, it's Shpongle again!
Headliners: Kaskade, Shpongle, Skrillex, STS9, Zeds Dead, Mac Miller, the String Cheese Incident, Umphrey's McGee
"The Hangout Music Fest wants to make sure all their concertgoers are relaxed, recharged and ready to rock this year with the addition of 'ROCK YOUR BODY' - mellow morning yoga classes that will 'expand your mind, while elevating your vibration.' 'Rock your Body' yoga classes will be free for all holders of Super VIP and Big Kahuna passes."
Framed Backpacks NO / Scooters NO / Explosives NO / Baby Strollers OK / Blankets OK / Binoculars OK / AND REMEMBER - BE NICE, OR GO HOME!
Headliners: Kaskade, Shpongle, Skrillex, STS9, Zeds Dead, Mac Miller, the String Cheese Incident, Umphrey's McGee
"The Hangout Music Fest wants to make sure all their concertgoers are relaxed, recharged and ready to rock this year with the addition of 'ROCK YOUR BODY' - mellow morning yoga classes that will 'expand your mind, while elevating your vibration.' 'Rock your Body' yoga classes will be free for all holders of Super VIP and Big Kahuna passes."
Framed Backpacks NO / Scooters NO / Explosives NO / Baby Strollers OK / Blankets OK / Binoculars OK / AND REMEMBER - BE NICE, OR GO HOME!
Activities include spoken word, mud wrestling, costume ball, guided yoga, bicycle jousting, crystal bowl meditations, B-Boy battles.
Headliners: 12th Planet, Afroman, Beats Antique, Dieselboy, Govinda, Gramatik, Papadosio, The Polish Ambassador, Machines are People Too, Yo Mama's Big Fat Booty Band
"The Festival of Gnarnia is fast becoming a destination event for Gnarniacs from across the Americas! We have reports of the promotion Gnarmy street lurking into cities on the northern lands of New York and Connecticut, Western lands of Colorado and Oregon, and as far south as Columbia and Chile. The kings call for the Gnarmy has brought great success in attracting fellow venturers in a quest to defeat the evil sound drones lead by the bad speaker king."
Glass NO / Shpongle NO / Weapons NO / ATVs NO / Littering NO / Costumes OK / Headlamp OK / Mountain Bike OK / Imagination and creativity OK / Please respect the mountain and your mother earth
Bonus from Festival of Gnarnia's Facebok page: "Hear ye, hear ye! A bike jousting tournament is scheduled heretofore to rock your world at this year's grand Gnarnia Festival. You are cordially invited to ride in on your gallant steed and duel other Gnarniacs to the glorious end! Turkish delight awaits the valiant champion for the honor of the realm!"
Headliners: 12th Planet, Afroman, Beats Antique, Dieselboy, Govinda, Gramatik, Papadosio, The Polish Ambassador, Machines are People Too, Yo Mama's Big Fat Booty Band
"The Festival of Gnarnia is fast becoming a destination event for Gnarniacs from across the Americas! We have reports of the promotion Gnarmy street lurking into cities on the northern lands of New York and Connecticut, Western lands of Colorado and Oregon, and as far south as Columbia and Chile. The kings call for the Gnarmy has brought great success in attracting fellow venturers in a quest to defeat the evil sound drones lead by the bad speaker king."
Glass NO / Shpongle NO / Weapons NO / ATVs NO / Littering NO / Costumes OK / Headlamp OK / Mountain Bike OK / Imagination and creativity OK / Please respect the mountain and your mother earth
Bonus from Festival of Gnarnia's Facebok page: "Hear ye, hear ye! A bike jousting tournament is scheduled heretofore to rock your world at this year's grand Gnarnia Festival. You are cordially invited to ride in on your gallant steed and duel other Gnarniacs to the glorious end! Turkish delight awaits the valiant champion for the honor of the realm!"
Grudge match! EDM meets jam band in the middle of absolutely nowhere pt. 666.
Headliners: 12th Planet, Bassnectar, Beats Antique, Datsik, Richie Hawtin, Steve Aoki, STS9 (2 shows), Thievery Corporation, Wolfgang Gartner, Zeds Dead, The String Cheese Incident (3 Shows)
"By day, the Sherwood Forest is a place to relax in one of the many hammocks that swing between the trees, explore the art installations sprinkled throughout the woods and meander down paths to discover plenty of surprises. At night, the Sherwood Forest comes alive!"
Also, you and your "posse" can enjoy horse-back riding.
Shpongle NO / Yoga Mats YES / VIP YES / Electric Forest's 2nd annual "Celebrity" Golf Invitational YES
Headliners: 12th Planet, Bassnectar, Beats Antique, Datsik, Richie Hawtin, Steve Aoki, STS9 (2 shows), Thievery Corporation, Wolfgang Gartner, Zeds Dead, The String Cheese Incident (3 Shows)
"By day, the Sherwood Forest is a place to relax in one of the many hammocks that swing between the trees, explore the art installations sprinkled throughout the woods and meander down paths to discover plenty of surprises. At night, the Sherwood Forest comes alive!"
Also, you and your "posse" can enjoy horse-back riding.
Shpongle NO / Yoga Mats YES / VIP YES / Electric Forest's 2nd annual "Celebrity" Golf Invitational YES
Against the backdrop of sunny Bodymore, rising from the ashes of Sunrise Festival, Starscape 2012 pits you against 40 of the biggest names in EDM, including Mimosa, Bro Safari and Papadosio, performing at the Bass Drop Dance Tent, Sunrise Stage and Dub Nation Beach Stage.
Many will enter. None should survive.
Headliners: Beats Antique, Chase & Status, Dieselboy, DJ Dan, Ghostland Observatory, Shpongle, Wolfgang Gartner, Zedd
Drugs NO / Weapons of any size or shape NO / Luggage NO / Shpongle YES / Amazing Vibe YES / Chill Out Area YES
Many will enter. None should survive.
Headliners: Beats Antique, Chase & Status, Dieselboy, DJ Dan, Ghostland Observatory, Shpongle, Wolfgang Gartner, Zedd
Drugs NO / Weapons of any size or shape NO / Luggage NO / Shpongle YES / Amazing Vibe YES / Chill Out Area YES
The lineup's actually pretty cool for this one, but with great dirt comes great pretension.
Headliners: Claude VonStroke, Damian Lazarus, Gang Gang Dance, James Blake, Little Dragon, Rustie, Shlohmo
"The people were colorful and vibrant [racist?]; they danced at three stages, visited dozens of workshops and guest speakers, and bought handmade clothing and artisan creations from community vendors. The musical performances were diverse in scope yet alike in their exceptional quality, including locals and upcoming internationals, with the debut of several new producers and projects."
Also, if you want a bunch of ravers/clowns to paint your kids, Kidbiosis has that covered.
Eclipse glasses YES / Floaties YES / Central Elemental Altar YES / Staring at the sun NO / Giving minors alcohol NO / Disrobing in public NO / Defecating in public NO / Removing volcanic rock formations NO / Playa dust NO / Shpongle NO / Everyone is a VIP YES (finally) / Fire spinning PERMIT ONLY
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Headliners: Claude VonStroke, Damian Lazarus, Gang Gang Dance, James Blake, Little Dragon, Rustie, Shlohmo
"The people were colorful and vibrant [racist?]; they danced at three stages, visited dozens of workshops and guest speakers, and bought handmade clothing and artisan creations from community vendors. The musical performances were diverse in scope yet alike in their exceptional quality, including locals and upcoming internationals, with the debut of several new producers and projects."
Also, if you want a bunch of ravers/clowns to paint your kids, Kidbiosis has that covered.
Eclipse glasses YES / Floaties YES / Central Elemental Altar YES / Staring at the sun NO / Giving minors alcohol NO / Disrobing in public NO / Defecating in public NO / Removing volcanic rock formations NO / Playa dust NO / Shpongle NO / Everyone is a VIP YES (finally) / Fire spinning PERMIT ONLY
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- Filed under: Concerts and Tours, RPM
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