What you want to do behind closed doors is none of our business. (Seriously -- whatever blows your hair back; we're not here to judge.) However, in terms of love songs, "S&M" is merely a faster-paced derivation of "Closer," in that it seems intended more to shock than seduce. Although it was a toss-up between this track and "We Found Love," this 2011 Rihanna banger takes the cake in terms of awkward collar tugging -- much like another similarly titled Rihanna/Chris Brown ditty that should appear on lists of love songs nowhere.
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