"I'm sick and tired of these bands like Carlos Santana looking at his shoes and thinking that's a rock concert." --Gene Simmons

In a recent interview, while discussing the possibility of a new Kiss album and tour, the singer took a swipe at the Latin guitar virtuoso.

"When you train your body to walk on these platform heels for hours and carry 30 pounds of guitar stuff and outfits, it's a terrific workout." --Gene Simmons

The Kiss singer revealed his trick for staying thin, insisting that he can even "eat cheesecake every day and not gain a pound." Makes you want to rethink your wardrobe, huh?

From coffee mugs to caskets, the men of Kiss have never been above selling out. But Gene Simmons has upped his game by auctioning off his kidney stone on eBay for a righteous $15,000.

"I passed a kidney stone and I put it on eBay for charity," the Kiss bassist told the 'Today Show.' "I got $15 grand."

Host Kathie Lee Gifford then asked Simmons how much he might get for other parts of his body. To which Simmons -- who was plugging his A&E series 'Gene Simmons Family Jewels' -- jokingly snapped, "Settle down."

Subtle, Gifford.

"You lift your hand to a woman, you should become somebody's girlfriend fast." --Gene Simmons

During a recent press conference, the Kiss frontman suggested a colorful punishment for convicted felon Chris Brown.


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Kiss bassist Gene Simmons will lend his animated likeness to a new stop-motion comedy series that will debut next summer as part of Nickelodeon's 'Nick at Nite' programming. The show will follow a dentist and his family as they hit the open road in a toothbrush-topped "dental mobile."

"Michael Eisner is producing. I was asked to play me," Simmons writes of the series -- which will also star 'Weeds' veteran Kevin Nealon -- on Kissonline. The show is about a family whose house burned down, so they get into their motor home and travel the country. The script is very funny."

In related news, Simmons' bandmate Paul Stanley will put his artwork on display in two New Jersey galleries in late February. Stanley will participate in VIP receptions at Wentworth Gallery's Hackensack and Short Hills locations on February 27 and 28, respectively.

Makeup and role play isn't out of the ordinary for Gene Simmons. That said, it only seems fitting that the Kiss bassist makes a cameo in Japan's No. 2 box office hit, 'Detroit Metal City,' as Jack Ill Dark, a legendary American death metal guitarist who holds the title "The Emperor."

Simmons flew to Japan last March for five days of shooting after director Toshio Lee tracked the rocker down with the help of Sony Music Japan. "He was a complete professional," Lee tells Spinner with the aid of an English-speaking translator. "He didn't even want to rest. He said, 'I'm here for business.'"

Kiss bassist Gene Simmons is blaming artists like Radiohead, Nine Inch Nails and Green Day offshoot the Foxboro Hot Tubs for "contributing to the demise of the record industry" by giving away their music for free.

Gene's also blaming the fans.

"The record industry is dead," Simmons tells paper the Daily Star. "It's six feet underground and unfortunately the fans have done this. They've decided to download and file share."

Explaining why Kiss hasn't released a new album in a decade -- its last was 1998's widely-panned 'Psycho Circus' -- the not-so-forward-thinking, tongued one continued, "There is no record industry around so we're going to wait until everybody settles down and becomes civilized. As soon as the record industry pops its head up we'll record new material."

Translation: Don't hold your breath for a new Kiss disc, kids.