One year after Britney Spears' train-wreck VMA performance, the reportedly reformed singer's return to the VMA stage was twofold: 1) to open the awards and 2) sweet vindication, which she got ... kinda.

Her opening appearance was short. And, well, she didn't stumble in her heels. Dressed in a skin-tight silver spangled dress, Spears kicked off the big event with a pre-taped comedic intro with 'Superbad' actor Jonah Hill, with hopes for another surprise or two. Rumors of a performance by Spears swirled, but to no avail. She exited the stage almost as quickly as she took to it, rushing through the monologue with the mic covering much of her face. "Thank you for all the love," she said. "I'm here to celebrate the 25th anniversary of the VMAs." It wouldn't be the last of her.

Russell Brand took over official hosting duties with Jamie Foxx taking the stage shortly thereafter to announce the nominees for Best Female Video, which Spears was up for, alongside Rihanna, Katy Perry, Mariah Carey and Jordin Sparks. After 16 career nominations, a dance with a boa constrictor, a lip-lock with Madonna and a complete meltdown later, Spears finally won her first with 'Piece of Me,' a second for Best Pop Video and, most importantly and interestingly, Video of the Year. "I first want to thank God for blessing me like this," she said. "I want to thank my family and two beautiful boys for inspiring me everyday. And my fans -- this is for you."

"The reporting of the past few days have proven tackier than a costume change at a Madonna concert." --Mike Huckabee

The former presidential hopeful used his speech at the RNC as an opportunity to slam Madonna, whose tour visual effects offended his party's nominee.

Wait, you mean Madonna isn't throwing her weight behind the Republicans during the upcoming presidential election? And she's making outrageous statements like running Republican presidential nominee John McCain's picture alongside images of destruction, global warming and Nazi dictator Adolf Hitler in a video interlude during her 'Sticky and Sweet' tour? That sounds nothing like the Madonna we know. Oh, wait. Yes, yes it does.

Well, McCain isn't gonna take it. The U.S. Senator hit back at Madonna Sunday in response to the pop diva's visual swipe at the candidate during the opening night of her international 'Sticky and Sweet' tour, this past Saturday in Cardiff, Wales.

"I was like, 'This is Madonna's underwear.' Of course, it didn't fit me." --Felicity Huffman

What does an Oscar-nominated actress do when she finds a pop icon's skivvies lying around her dressing room? She tries them on, of course.

On This Date in 1958: Madonna is born Madonna Louise Ciccone, in Bay City, Mich.

On This Date in 1985: Madonna weds actor Sean Penn in Malibu, Calif.

On This Date in 1986: 'True Blue,' Madonna's third full-length record, hits No. 1on the Billboard 200 album chart.

The Almanac Advises for August 16: "For variety's sake, treat yourself to a different birthday gift every year."

Sorry, Amy Winehouse. No Bond for you. While the embattled Brit was rumored to be penning the new James Bond theme, R&B songstress Alicia Keys and White Stripes/Raconteurs brainchild Jack White will team for the honor for the upcoming 'Quantum of Solace.' Titled 'Another Way To Die,' the song was written and produced by White, who also plays drums and counts the soulful pipes of the eleven-time Grammy winner Keys.

The film's soundtrack -- which upholds a 45-year tradition of themes for the movie franchise -- will be released October 28. Other Bond theme veterans include Paul McCartney and Wings ('Live and Let Die'), Carly Simon ('Nobody Does It Better'), Duran Duran ('A View to a Kill'), Madonna ('Die Another Day') and, most recently, Chris Cornell, who sang 'You Know My Name' for 2006's 'Casino Royale.'

Previous reports suggested vocalists like Leona Lewis, Duffy, Annie Lennox and the recently hospitalized Winehouse were all in the running for the title. The film is slated to debut in theaters on November 7.

On This Date in 1985: New issues of Playboy and Penthouse -- featuring nude photos of Madonna, taken pre-stardom -- hit the newsstands.

The Almanac Advises for July 8: "A surefire way for an aspiring performer to get exposure is to be featured in as many magazines as possible. However, this tactic may backfire, as overexposure may turn off many fans."

Perry Flirts With the Girls

Katy Perry likes to play with sexual ambiguity. The devilishly adorable singer recently insisted that she's "kinda saving myself for Miley Cyrus." Not to mention that she titled her debut album 'One of the Boys,' and is most famous for a song called 'Ur So Gay' and her No. 1 hit 'I Kissed a Girl,' which has her gleefully singing "I liked it/The taste of her cherry Chap-Stick." And no, it's not a cover of Jill Sobule's '90s tune about similar experimentation. That comes later in this package.

• Radiohead, Rage Against the Machine, Kanye West, Nine Inch Nails and the Raconteurs are among the artists set to play Lollapalooza, which takes place August 1-3 at Chicago's Grant Park.

• Former pop star-turned-beloved-indie singer Robyn will open for Madonna on several dates of Madge's European 'Sticky and Sweet' tour.

• Beck and the Black Crowes are set to headline this year's San Diego Street Scene Festival, which takes place September 19-20.
  

• Amy Winehouse remains hospitalized after fainting at her London home on Monday. "She's staying there for the time being," a spokesperson said. "They are still not quite sure what happened and the tests were inconclusive."
  

"I totally made her cry like a baby. I had to get her a towel. I said some really nasty stuff."--Pharrell

Madonna's 'Hard Candy' recording session was apparently very hard on her thanks to some "really nasty stuff" from the N.E.R.D. frontman.